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Life Out of (my) Control

 As a believer, when life’s circumstances are going well, it’s easy to sit back and tell others “Don’t worry, God is in control!”. Personally, I’ll smile and live those smooth days without any stress or concern. But what about when God turns me down a road different from the one that I highlighted on my map? It can be so easy to lose our calm. We start to question everything. Our mind begins to have thoughts such as:

Why? God was doing so good! He had me on the road I wanted to be on! Did he fall asleep at the wheel? Surely no one is steering, and my life has just fallen off a cliff! I know God will fix it, but why did He let things get out of control? I see no good from this whole situation.’

Now, sometimes, that last part may be true. I might never see the purpose God had for my struggle until I get to heaven.  Most times, however, I believe we can look back and see the ways in which God used a situation to grow us. Additionally, the reality is this: Our life was never out of control. God didn’t fall asleep at the wheel. He was driving the whole time. That bump I felt? It wasn’t from falling off a cliff. The road just wasn’t perfectly paved. God can see the whole map - a bird’s eye view. I couldn’t see that the paved road I desired had a dead end. God drove me around the blocked road to put me on a path that stretched further. A path that gives me hope and a future. Can it be frustrating when I want to see the whole road ahead or what is on it? Sure. Nonetheless, I know that God uses every path, pothole, and bump in the road for my good. And because of that, I can smile and still find the strength to live my life with a peace that surpasses all understanding.

 

You’re probably wondering why I opened this blog with a deeper context than usual. Honestly, I did it more for myself. I need to be intentional to remind myself the Truth. Right now, it would be easy to tell myself I’m falling off a cliff. Quick side story, I thought I’d handled the big complication of 2024 back in February when my car was totaled from a side swipe on the interstate in Arizona. In a split second I found myself living across the country with no car, no way to move to Dallas in a few weeks, and not enough funds in my bank account to even buy a new set of tires. Thankfully, God blessed me with amazing parents. They took an untold amount of their time over the following weeks helping me car shop across every platform and spreading the word to all their friends. They even agreed to help match the money I received from insurance. About two weeks before I was planned to move to Dallas, the perfect option in price and mileage came across my mom’s Facebook. The seller said that the listing had only been up for 15 minutes before my mom reached out. What a blessing. Following the purchase, my Dad took a weekend of his time to drive my new car out to Dallas from Atlanta, and he dropped it off at the house I would be living in. My mom then flew out to Arizona, rented a car, drove with me from Phoenix to Dallas, and then caught a flight back to Atlanta. All in all, the car ordeal was a headache. I’m still not sure what God’s reasons were for allowing the inconvenience to happen, but at least it was over. I was settled in Dallas and ready to start my second season on the Annika tour in less than a week. At least I thought that’s where my road was headed.

 

I’m sure God has only taken a slight left on the road, but this next story feels like I’ve just taken a U-turn on two wheels.  It’s four days after I moved to Dallas, and it’s now the Saturday of Easter weekend. My bags are packed for my first three weeks on the road, and I’m on my way to my first stop in Louisiana. As it worked out, Alex’s family is from a town in southeast Texas that sits right along my route to the first tournament. My practice round wasn’t until Monday, so that allowed time to spend the weekend and celebrate Easter with his family.   On Saturday, all the family came to Alex’s mother’s house to have lunch and the annual egg hunt. I was super excited to join the festivities, and Alex’s mom even had an Easter bucket painted just for me!  Unfortunately, the chance to use my new bucket never came. As everyone was getting ready for the big hunt, the “kids” were playing out in the yard. Alex and his brothers had taken to throwing the football and running one-on-one routes against each other. I ran a few against Alex for fun, and it was all smiles. Sadly, on the last throw, it took one second to create a major change. While I was running across the grass to catch the football, I slowed up and did a small hop laterally to the right. My intention was simply to push off my right foot to quickly change directions back to the left to get around Alex. Nothing crazy. I’d done it plenty of times before. This time, however, there may have been a slope or a small hole in the grass, and my right foot rolled under my ankle. Hard. As I felt it, I was certain I had created a bad ankle sprain. I spent the next few seconds waiting to feel the familiar pain from a stunned ankle, but it never came. Instead, the pain was coming from the under my foot. After about 45 seconds of trying to walk it off, the adrenaline subsided, and I couldn’t put so much as an ounce of pressure on my right foot. Next thing I knew, my egg hunt turned into an ER visit and some x-rays. Sadly, the scans confirmed that I had broken my foot.

It was so close to April 1st, I was waiting for someone to shout, “April fools!”. In the moment, I didn’t know how to take it all in. It didn’t make sense. How could this happen? I’ve never broken a bone before. I wasn’t trying to do anything stupid. I was supposed to start my season in 3 days. There’s no way this is real.

 

Well, as I sit here on my parents’ couch in Georgia, I can confirm that it is very much real. I missed my first week on the Annika. I am going to miss the next six weeks too. I’m not sure how missing the first half of my season is beneficial. I’m not sure why God allowed an injury that prevents me from any practice for at least two weeks. I can’t see how this is for my good. Right now, things can feel very out of control. However, I am working hard to remind myself that everything is very much IN control. All things work together for my good. Breaking my foot will work for my good. Missing so much of the season will come together for my good. Am I sitting here, in this moment, seeing and understanding all the good? Absolutely not. I don’t have the slightest clue of any major benefit that this injury will serve me in the long run. Thankfully, as I mentioned in the beginning of this blog, I don’t have to see it. God sees it.

 

With all that said, it looks like I’ll be sending periodic recovery rather than golf updates for a while. However, there has been some good amongst the bad. I saw an orthopedic doctor as soon as I got home, and the evaluation was a more positive one. I’ve been given a six-week recovery plan, and, when I heal, it will be as if it never happened.  I have a follow-up on my x-rays scheduled in about a week to check on the healing, and I will be sure to let everyone know how that goes.

 

As always, thank you for being here. I am blessed to have each and every one of you, and all the constant support and prayers!  










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